Want a Dog; in spite of myself.

I haven't written a new blog in what seems like a very long time, and before reading this one you should know it's going to be fluff. No deep realizations or great information/discoveries/insights, although as I'm saying this I am realizing that prior posts may not have had any of those either and I've just revealed how incredibly egotistical I am. Anyway, the warning should allow you to act accordingly. To read or not to read, that is the question. Or for the geeks in all of us "Run Away, Run away!".

Begin.

The other day I was watching TV. I know Shocker! Animal Planet has this show called Dogs101. It goes over different breeds of dogs and ranks them in key areas to help potential pet owners make an informed decision. Each breed they are covering for the episode is graded by things like "Weather Tolerance", "Good Family Dog", "Health", "Grooming Requirements" and "Exercise Needs".

As I was watching it I found myself wanting to get a dog. I've never had a dog of my own. In fact growing up we only had a few pets ever and they were mostly cats that died and usually it was euthanasia (word of the day, ten points). There was a bunny that I won't go into, and David had an albino rat that escaped, became wild again and bit him. There were two dogs "Buster and Snaps" but they were Ben's dogs and not the rest of the families. To put it more succinctly, I personally, as an adult have never had a dog.

Judging by my pet skills to date, that's probably a good thing. We as a family have had some fish, and I had one in my office. Notice the 'had'. Hyrum had a $90 Russian Tortoise, which the boys played with in the back yard and never brought in again. Who knows where he is now.

But I've gotten off track. Regardless of how good an owner I would be, the show got me thinking about wanting a dog, and what kind I would like. Mostly I know what kind I would want. I want a Charlie dog.

My sister and her husband have the best dog in the world in my mind. His name is Charlie after "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" due to his sad eyes and the song "Cheer up Charlie" from the original, not Johnny Depp creepy version. Charlie is a little dog. I'm not sure what he is, but if I had to guess he's a mix between a chihuahua, Daschund, beagle and a ..... let's say Great Dane. No ... let's say Bull Mastiff, just because it's a funnier thought. He's kind of a longer dog, with short ears, short hair, and an aerodynamic head that makes him look really fast. Oh, and he sprints like he's on crack if you get him whooped up, and jumps twice or 3 times his own height when he wants to be held, and is a great lapdog. He'll climb up and let you pet him for hours.

Barring a Charlie, I would settle for these traits.

Good with children and babies.
Barks at strangers but wouldn't bite.
Good with other dogs, wouldn't bark.
Has own fax machine.
Smells nice.
Has short hair.
Is on the medium-small side (like a boxer or small bulldog)
Long nose because all dogs should have long noses. A dog with a squat face is rediculous.
Wants to be walked a lot. (more for my sake than his).

If any of you know what kind of dog fits all those criteria, let me know and I will take him.